The Necessity of Stubbornness

A little stubbornness I think can be good for someone. I’ve been trying to imagine what it would be like to be totally without this trait, and I think it would create a lot of difficulties for me. The ability to stick to your guns, and stand up for what you believe in is essential, not for individual survival, sometimes it goes against our survival, but for our personal progress and the spiritual evolution of humanity.

Without any stubbornness, we would be susceptible to the whim of every person we meet. Indeed, I have meet people who are like this. They don’t seem to have an opinion that is their own, they agree with most everything their friends or partner says. Fitting in and pleasing people is their main aim, this they do for self preservation because they think they have to in order to keep other people on their side. I think this kind of person must have a less stable sense of self.

I like to think of stubbornness as an instinct, one of self-preservation. The stubborn individual and the individual without a low stubborn drive have different ideas about that self. The individual who has no stubbornness in their nature thinks of their self as embodied in the external world. They have to work hard to please people to ensure both their physical survival and that they get what they want to recreate the image they have of themselves in the external world. In the process they lose their inner sense of self because they are dependent on other people’s opinions. It becomes a vicious circle. They confuse the lose of this self with something other people can give them and so they continue their attempts to flatter and please the people around them, and neglect to act according to their own inner voice, thus causing more damage to their internal self.

I have a twin, we’re not identical. People often describe us as being like chalk and cheese. Whereas I am in the stubborn camp my sister is definitely in the opposite camp. I’m not sure there’s a word for the opposite of stubborn. Irresolute is the best word I can find, but it doesn’t seem to encapsulate everything, fickle might be another word but it has lots of other negative connotations. Although being stubborn also has lots of negative connotations as well, so perhaps it’s a fair deal.

Being stubborn can have it’s advantages. People who are stubborn are often strong and resilient in the face of opposition. They have grit and stamina when things go wrong. A stubborn person doesn’t give up on something dear to them unless they’ve given their absolute all. The advantages to being irresolute/fickle is that you are usually better at dealing with people, your less likely to offend people, and probably most importantly you are more open to ideas from other people and find it easier to accept being wrong. I think the correct about of stubbornness can keep you at a happy medium between these two extremes.