Tuesday 22 December 2009

The Autistic Shopper

I don't know if all autistic people have this problem, but one of the things I hate about shopping in town (apart from the noise) is that I have a lot of difficulty stopping myself from walking into people. You know that dance you sometimes have when someone is walking towards you. You move to step out of their way and they move in the same direction, this continues until you crash into each other. I hate this, it happens to me all the time.

For a while I thought people were doing it deliberately to make fun of me. I think men sometimes stand in your path as a way of getting your attention, but most of the time it is unintentional. In fact I think I am probably the cause of most of my collisions. Recently I have got a bit fed up with it. Usually when I see people coming towards me I move out of the way as quickly as I can. I guess people think I'm very polite when I do this. In the supermarket I try to find the quietest aisle to go down even if this takes me longer to get to what I want. But increasingly I find myself becoming impatient with the whole scenario.

Recently I went through a 'rude' phase. If I saw someone in my way and I wasn't sure which way to go I would just stop dead. People probably thought 'How Rude!'. Maybe they thought I was making a statement, that I didn't intend to move out of the way - not for anyone! Occasionally, if there was more than one person, and I couldn't think which direction to take, I just pushed past, or ran in front/past them. This was even more rude. I looked like I was in a hurry and not showing any consideration for my fellow shoppers.

Shopping is hard work; the constant dodging of other people. Maybe it's something to do with not being sure where you are in space. I often look at my feet when I'm walking, it's not just to avoid eye contact, I want to make sure I'm not going to fall over. It could also be because I don't have very good balance. I walk slowly. My parents used to call me 'Slow Coach' and I was always being told off for dragging my feet. I guess I'm just not very agile, which also impedes my ability to get out of peoples way. Also not being able to read people, and know which direction they intend to take could be a cause.