The Triad of Impairments - Communication

This includes both verbal and non verbal communication. In this piece I wanted to talk about the written word and the difficulties I have with it. I love writing; I have lots of thoughts throughout the day that I want to write down before I go to bed but there isn’t always enough time. I have three different blogs at the moment. One to record my dreams (I sometimes get useful information from them), my autism blog and another blog on my website which is basically a diary.

Although I love writing, I often struggle with the technicalities, mostly spelling and grammar. I haven’t ever analysed the language I use when I speak but I think if I did it would show the same problems to do with grammar. The good thing about writing of course is that you can edit it afterwards. The process of editing my own writing has been a good experience in that it has highlighted for me the different ways that autistic people use language.

I remember picking up a book my Temple Grandin one in WHSmith; it was about birds. I was really excited as I admire her a lot, also I like birds and now I knew she liked birds too. I read a few pages and noticed straight away the similarities with my own writing. There was an overuse of clichés and a repetition of particular words and phrases (I think this related to problems with grammar). Her sentences didn’t flow; they felt disjointed. I was pretty stunned. I had thought my difficulties with language were peculiar to me (I didn’t know much about autism at the time). Now I realised they weren’t.

In my writing there is the same disjointed feeling. My sentences work on their own, but they don’t fit very well together. There is a rhythm lacking in my written work that is similar to the rhythm lacking in my speech. It sounds jagged and jumpy when you read it. I think that’s what I must sound like when I speak.

I remember a poetry teacher picking me up on this once and telling me I should try using more conjunctives in my writing, which I try to do. I have a list of them on a post-it-note stuck to my laptop. My writing goes through a lot of editing before I consider it finished as I want to make it sound as naturalistic as possible and I think I do a good job, for an autistic person that is.

The second major problem I have language is grammar. I have always found grammar difficult. Fortunately or unfortunately, the only grammar I came across at school was in my French and German lessons. I was mystified but I too embarrassed to put my hand up and ask what words like ‘past participle’ meant. My classmates seemed to have worked out the rules for themselves, or maybe they were getting extra tuition at home.

I don’t seem to have this inbuilt understanding that other people have. I learnt to speak and write by memorising phrases. When I was child I didn’t speak till very late. I’d started speaking by the time I got to school but half the time the teachers couldn’t understand me. Their solution was to give me elocution lessons (it was a private girls school). Really though, I should have been seen by a speech therapist.

My Dad told me that the first sentence he heard me say was ‘Put a sock in it.’. He was driving and me and my sister were in the back of the car. She was talking away, and me, who hardly ever spoke came out with this phrase. My Dad said he cracked up, it was so funny. I find it funny when I think about it, but I doubt I saw the humour at the time. The phrase is one my Dad used a lot, I was just copying him. I think this is how I learnt to speak; by memorising phrases, Which is why it took me longer than if I’d understood the rules. I still do this now as an adult. If I’ve been watching a film or something on television and I hear phrases I like I will repeat them to myself and then excitedly wait for an opportunity to impress people with them.

I think both characteristics of autistic writing (it’s disjointedness and the repetition of words and phrases) are related to the way we use memorised phrases (which we do because grammar is difficult for us). If you are using phrases you’ve memorised to write with then you are bound to end up repeating them. You will have your favourite phrases you use often. Cliches are memorable and you will use them more often than most people because it saves you from trying to phrase something yourself. Your writing won’t flow very well either, it may sound a bit like someone has cut up a magazine and glued sentences together from different articles. However, if you are aware of these issues and you have as good ear for literature I think you should still be able to write something pretty decent.