Why is it hard to keep my flat tidy?

My flat is a mess. Not as big a mess as it was this morning. I've been tidying up, but still, it's not as tidy as I would like it. Organisation is probably a problem for lots of NT people as well, I don't think they understand though, just how much harder it is for an autistic person. The number of times I've been called lazy by people who hardly know me. I try very hard to keep my flat tidy. Bit like a yo-yo dieter, I take two steps forward then two steps back.

For example, if I see something needs picking up, part of me wants to pick it up and part of me is thinking, not more work, not again, I keep doing this, it never ends. There are lots of everyday tasks that autistic people find hard; like listening (if you have auditory discrimination problems), like any physical action (because co-ordination is difficult and you can't tell where you are in space), like planning (because you can't create sequences in your mind). I think that's why I stay slim even though I don't exercise; I spend so much mental energy even when I'm not 'working' proper.

From a spiritual point of view, your Self knows it hasn't always been like this, and it won't always be like this. In Spirit you change clothes just by thinking about it. There's no picking clothes off the floor, no washing, no hanging out to dry, no ironing, no putting away. In fact an enormous amount of work goes into putting clean clothes on everyday. At the same time, I don't like mess. A tidy home equals a tidy mind. It's difficult to concentrate when your surrounded by mess. I think anyone who knows something about Feng Shui would probably tell you its a bad thing too. What I'm trying to show is the tasks autistic people find hard, are purely related to how we interact with the physical world. There is nothing wrong with my conscious Self. All it means is losing my balance when I try to pick up that sock, and grabbing at it because I'm not really sure if I have a hold of it, then having a fight with a draw to put it away. Who likes doing stuff they're no good at? I get very mad at myself, but thats because I've been measuring myself against other people for so long. (I've only recently been diagnosed).

I was doing quite well when I first moved into my flat, that was a few months ago. Then I got this job about a month ago, and then it all just unraveled. I didn't have time anymore, or more accurately I couldn't spend the time I wanted on tasks. My circumstances told me how much time I could spend doing something. The routines I'd put in place while I wasn't working, went out the window, because I hadn't factored in time. Autistic people can't conceptualise time. It's very difficult for me to judge how long a task will take, or how much time I've spent on a task. I'm not very good at putting things into sequence, as I can't see ahead, I can't see several things at once, I can only see what I've chosen to do first. If I'd managed to keep my job i think I would have worked out a new routine. But I only had it for a month. Luckily I'm slipping back into my old routine quite quickly. I haven't forgotten it. So my flat is getting tidier. But I have learnt a lesson from this. I would like to spend less time on housework, and do things more quickly. Then I would have more time to do the things I want to do.